Human Decency

Network marketing is a people to people business. Successful network marketers are the ones who take the time and trouble to understand human nature, and who build their business to accommodate people. It doesn't matter whether you do business at opportunity meetings, by telephone, by voicemail, by snail mail, by fax or by email, you're still dealing with people. Knowing what motivates people, what makes people happy, what pushes people's buttons is vitally important.

For a long time I didn't understand this, but people like to be recognized and appreciated. Even if it's trivial and mostly meaningless, people like recognition. I recently visited my local bookstore and bought a couple of books. The store is the original location of what has now become a very successful nationwide chain of discount bookstores, and I have been shopping there ever since the day they opened more than 10 years ago. Well, on this most recent visit, the lady who rang up my purchase managed to scan the merchandise, total my bill, scan my discount card, and process my credit card, all without even looking up at me, without acknowledging my presence with even so much as a grunt. She made me feel like I didn't even exist. This experience would be shocking if it were not so common.

What has happened to common human decency? I pass by people all the time in the hallway of my office building who go to great lengths to avoid eye contact when walking by me. Last Saturday after our weekly training, I was walking out to the hotel parking lot with someone in my upline, an older man who is one of the nicest, kindest people you will ever meet. When we reached his car, he commented to me that he had smiled at everyone we passed on the way out and not one person returned the gesture. What was disturbing about this was the fact that most of the people we passed were young people who were at the hotel for a statewide meeting of student council members. These are the "leaders of tomorrow" and none of them could even muster the basic courtesy of a friendly gesture.

Are we so afraid of each other that we no longer want to make contact? Are we so busy that we don't have the time to even look at other human beings? Have we become so insulated, so used to cocooning, that we've forgotten how to make contact with other people? Sometimes I think so.

You know, I bet there are people, people who live in cities surrounded by thousands of other people, who go for weeks at a time without making human contact. Just think about it. Everything is so automated, so computerized, so impersonalized that it would be easy to do. In this day in age, we can get almost anything we need without having to deal with other people.

And therein lies a huge opportunity. Because people need human contact and they're not getting it from their daily lives. And our society has gotten to the point where anyone who is decent, friendly and amiable really stands out. There is such a dearth of decent behavior, that anyone who practices it can become truly revered. Simple things like keeping appointments, returning phone calls, saying thank you, going out of your way to help someone out, being loyal -- things we used to expect of everyone -- now have the power to make you a hero.

I have a customer who is an older woman caring for her disabled husband. Whenever I go to deliver products to her, she invites me in to sit down and we talk for maybe 20-30 minutes about the weather, traffic, children and grandchildren, things like that. It is obvious that she absolutely loves the company and I really enjoy it myself. I never feel rushed or uncomfortable when I'm there. It's just real nice and friendly. That kind of thing just doesn't happen very much any more, and it's a shame.

You know, I think most people would love to sit and visit like that, but the majority of us are for some reason afraid to admit it. We feel that our time is too important for something so trivial as conversation.

But I think that relaxed, friendly conversations are probably one of the best business building tools you could ever hope to fine. It's a fact -- people like to buy from people they know, all other things being equal. If you take the time to get to know someone -- and I don't mean just talking about your product or your business opportunity, I mean talking about their kids, their interests, politics, all sorts of things -- you'll have a loyal customer. You'll have someone who wants to take a serious look at the business you're in. You'll have a friend.

I've frequently heard it said that "the most powerful tool in this business is sincerity, and once you can fake that you've got it made." (Or something to that effect.) Well, there's no need to fake it. Everyone has, inside himself or herself, the capacity to be a sincere, caring human being. But most of us are just afraid to do it for some reason. But that's silly. There's no need to try to hide the fact that you are a human being -- really, it's OK. Everybody else is one, too. We're all in this together. Let's start acting like it.